Well, despite, probably needing to be reading important stuff for my classes (or at least reading ahead), during the end of winter break and this first week of class I was able to finish two books: 'Women Are Crazy Men Are Stupid' by Howard Morris & Jenny Lee and 'he's just not that into you' by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo. Both excellent books in my opinion.
These two books, I feel (of course it's my blog... ha ha), need to be standard reading material for all single people, guys included! Now, all the guys are saying 'WHAT! Are you crazy? Me ... read a book that is going to bash guys! Say how horrible we are.... etc etc etc'.
But, I don't think that they are guy bashing books, in all honesty.
In WACMAS (sorry just made up the abbreviation), the female author actually comes off as being unreasonable in my opinion... and the guy shows true learning and such.
In hjntiy (that one doesn't look as nice), yet again, it appears that the guy (who is the lead writer in the book) gets it more than the female co-writer. Yes, granted in this book, he is an observer and partipant in this book's theme, but he still appears to be more willing to look at things objectively without 'over-emotion'.
That's what I got out of the two books... is at times, as females, we get to emotionally wrapped up in nothing, what I mean is nothing that has substance.
The hope of a new and exciting relationship.... is just that hope. (A good thing to have, but not to throw your lifesavings into it!)
The signs that appear that someone might be interested... signs are subjective. (Unless they are engraved in cold hard metal bolted to a pole which is cemented into the ground!)
Women get crazy. Yes, I will definately be the fist women to step up to the podium 'Hi! My name is Tanya. And I am crazy! It all started when I ....'
And like WACMES talks about... women get crazy when their men don't understand their feelings, emotions or girlie thoughts about a situation. How can they? Seriously, let's think about this.... Guys approach stuff in a 'facts, only the facts' point of view. (for the most part... I understand that I am generalizing here) Where women relate an emotion to the fact... or future possible fact... the what would it be like fact... the is he the one fact... Well, you get the point.
So, in conclusion, I would highly recommend anyone read those two books!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Saturday, January 09, 2010
I wonder...
Have you ever been on a walking? While walking, you look at the houses that line the street and wonder what's going on in them. Are they messy like me? Do they have all their dvd's organized and on a shelf? Is there dirty dishes in the sink? Are they watching tv? Reading a book?
I wonder... I don't know if those are the exact thoughts that go through my head. I know I wonder how they have their furniture arranged? Would I have it set up differently?
I think isn't normal to wonder. It is also normal for us to compare. It's just one way for understanding life.
Have you ever watched any of the reality shows where they film in someone's home? Do you think they normally look like that? Do they clean before the film crew comes in? Is it like when you plan on having people over, you quickly scrub the toliet and make sure the dirty clothes makes it into the laundry basket?
Hmmmmm.... I guess I will never know, unless I start knocking on doors and inviting myself in! (And like that's really going to happen.)
I wonder... I don't know if those are the exact thoughts that go through my head. I know I wonder how they have their furniture arranged? Would I have it set up differently?
I think isn't normal to wonder. It is also normal for us to compare. It's just one way for understanding life.
Have you ever watched any of the reality shows where they film in someone's home? Do you think they normally look like that? Do they clean before the film crew comes in? Is it like when you plan on having people over, you quickly scrub the toliet and make sure the dirty clothes makes it into the laundry basket?
Hmmmmm.... I guess I will never know, unless I start knocking on doors and inviting myself in! (And like that's really going to happen.)
Rule #1
Okay... Rule #1: Don't blog when under any emotional response! (LOL) I am apologizing but not apologizing for my grammar and spelling errors in my last blog post. I haven't corrected them for the simple fact that they were created while I was upset/irritated/whatever you want to call my mood at the time.
So.... there it is I guess.
So.... there it is I guess.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Uphill, in the snow, and with paper bags on my feet...
Well, it's been an interesting few days to say the least!
Let's start with Monday. I had a great day shopping with my friend. On Sunday, I got a really nice bookcase and twin matresses set from my son's teacher. So, I went to the Salvation Army to get a headboard and frame. This was smack dab in the middle of the shopping excursion. We did the whole gamitt... shoes, mall, lunch... you know that whole girly shopping thing, which I don't get to do that often.
So, when I get home in the evening after getting my son from school, I attempt to put together the frame. It was not working. There was no way that it was right! (Now, granted, I can put just about anything together, I just don't have much patience. I often have the sailor come out in me when it comes to following directions.) So, I called up to the Salvation Army to talk to a manager and explain that I think I got the wrong frame. She explained to me that it was adjustable. I said okay, I'll try it again. When I went back into the bedroom, there was nothing on it to adjust. I compared the metal bars to the matresses and the headboard. There was absolutely NO way that this was right. I called back again and asked the manager to compare the numbers/letters that were stamped on the box. She complied and went in the back. She concluded with me that I was given the wrong one. So, at like 8 pm at night with no dinner, I am running up there to take what I have back and get the right one... all with a kido in tow! A whining crying kid who totally needed to be getting ready for bed, not running with me.
Okay... bed put together and love it!
Now on to Tuesday! I got kido off to school and I then drove to the University for classes. I got to the classroom. I sat down. I looked around. I realized that something wasn't right.... there was no one there. So, I go down to the computer lab, with weird looks from administration staff. I look at my schedule and classes don't start until WEDNESDAY!!!! Ugh! I just paid 90 cents to park for just over a 1/2 hour! OH well!
I did get to flirt with my favorite gas station attendant, who I tried to convince to see a movie with me this weekend. We'll set if it actually pans out.
Now Wednesday, it went well. I had a faculty candidate lunch that I attended and a class which I think I am going to really enjoy.
Now on to today! Went fairly well... I had a morning class, which I think I will enjoy also. But this is the kicker. The teacher sent my son to afterschool care and not to the bus. Which in her defense, his schedule changed because my schedule changed. So, I had to drive up to get him. Which at this time, the teacher explains to me that the school social work sent an assessment that I need to fill out.
Let me jump back for a moment to fill in the details. My son has had some trouble learning and making learning gains at school. We are now in a good school district where this would be noticed. So, now in first grade, he is behind the other students and struggling.
I have been pushing a little for this to be figured out and the teacher agrees that something must be done.
I checked my email for the assessement... the reason that I missed it is because it came under his name only, not the school email address. And he listed it as the tests name, when I was not expecting an email. As a graduate student, I receive tons of emails. I am suprised that I just didn't delete it, instead of just skipping over it.
So, as I am completely the assessment that he deemed for 'attentional' issues, *rolls eyes* it hits me, yes there is a really good chance that he has ADHD. I figured that is what the assessment was for (Conner's). So of course I google it just to make sure because they ask from pretty scary questions on it about extereme aggressive behavior.
As a parent, I am completely derailed! I have a bachelor's degree in social work and a minor in psychology with a focus on children and women. So, I am not ignorant about the disorder. As, parents, we tend to put so much blame on ourselves for our children's behavior and learning. On one hand, I wish that it was someting I was doing as a parent, so I can fix it. But absolutely nothing has worked! On the other hand, it's kinda good to have it 'labeled' eventhough as a parent we never want our children labeled. And there is the confusion of wanting our children to have an easy life without difficulties. However, a friend of mine (my shopping buddy from earlier in the week) reminded me that the difficulties in life is what builds character and makes your stronger.
All I can say is... what a week!
Let's start with Monday. I had a great day shopping with my friend. On Sunday, I got a really nice bookcase and twin matresses set from my son's teacher. So, I went to the Salvation Army to get a headboard and frame. This was smack dab in the middle of the shopping excursion. We did the whole gamitt... shoes, mall, lunch... you know that whole girly shopping thing, which I don't get to do that often.
So, when I get home in the evening after getting my son from school, I attempt to put together the frame. It was not working. There was no way that it was right! (Now, granted, I can put just about anything together, I just don't have much patience. I often have the sailor come out in me when it comes to following directions.) So, I called up to the Salvation Army to talk to a manager and explain that I think I got the wrong frame. She explained to me that it was adjustable. I said okay, I'll try it again. When I went back into the bedroom, there was nothing on it to adjust. I compared the metal bars to the matresses and the headboard. There was absolutely NO way that this was right. I called back again and asked the manager to compare the numbers/letters that were stamped on the box. She complied and went in the back. She concluded with me that I was given the wrong one. So, at like 8 pm at night with no dinner, I am running up there to take what I have back and get the right one... all with a kido in tow! A whining crying kid who totally needed to be getting ready for bed, not running with me.
Okay... bed put together and love it!
Now on to Tuesday! I got kido off to school and I then drove to the University for classes. I got to the classroom. I sat down. I looked around. I realized that something wasn't right.... there was no one there. So, I go down to the computer lab, with weird looks from administration staff. I look at my schedule and classes don't start until WEDNESDAY!!!! Ugh! I just paid 90 cents to park for just over a 1/2 hour! OH well!
I did get to flirt with my favorite gas station attendant, who I tried to convince to see a movie with me this weekend. We'll set if it actually pans out.
Now Wednesday, it went well. I had a faculty candidate lunch that I attended and a class which I think I am going to really enjoy.
Now on to today! Went fairly well... I had a morning class, which I think I will enjoy also. But this is the kicker. The teacher sent my son to afterschool care and not to the bus. Which in her defense, his schedule changed because my schedule changed. So, I had to drive up to get him. Which at this time, the teacher explains to me that the school social work sent an assessment that I need to fill out.
Let me jump back for a moment to fill in the details. My son has had some trouble learning and making learning gains at school. We are now in a good school district where this would be noticed. So, now in first grade, he is behind the other students and struggling.
I have been pushing a little for this to be figured out and the teacher agrees that something must be done.
I checked my email for the assessement... the reason that I missed it is because it came under his name only, not the school email address. And he listed it as the tests name, when I was not expecting an email. As a graduate student, I receive tons of emails. I am suprised that I just didn't delete it, instead of just skipping over it.
So, as I am completely the assessment that he deemed for 'attentional' issues, *rolls eyes* it hits me, yes there is a really good chance that he has ADHD. I figured that is what the assessment was for (Conner's). So of course I google it just to make sure because they ask from pretty scary questions on it about extereme aggressive behavior.
As a parent, I am completely derailed! I have a bachelor's degree in social work and a minor in psychology with a focus on children and women. So, I am not ignorant about the disorder. As, parents, we tend to put so much blame on ourselves for our children's behavior and learning. On one hand, I wish that it was someting I was doing as a parent, so I can fix it. But absolutely nothing has worked! On the other hand, it's kinda good to have it 'labeled' eventhough as a parent we never want our children labeled. And there is the confusion of wanting our children to have an easy life without difficulties. However, a friend of mine (my shopping buddy from earlier in the week) reminded me that the difficulties in life is what builds character and makes your stronger.
All I can say is... what a week!
Sunday, January 03, 2010
What if life was a movie...
I love watching movies. I don't get to do it that often and almost rarely get to go to the theater to watch them. But since, it was winter break, I made it to the rental store and picked up some good movies. I just got done watching The Brothers Bloom, great movie! I would highly recommend you watch it.
But, the thing with me watching movies are.... I think too much. Not that I think too much while watching the movie, but after. How great would life be if it was a movie... traveling the world, hoping on a flight to some exotic locale, being part of an elaborate con (like in The Brothers Bloom), finding love, and living life. Watching movies is a complete escape for me as long as it's a good movie. And when the credit roll, I realize that I am back to reality.
My reality is that I am a single mother with responsiblities. I have a child that I have to take care of and any wish to travel the world is nearly impossible at the moment. I do want to travel, but know that I will probably not be able to do it any time soon. I still have quite a few years until I am done with my educational goals, which delays any chance to have the funds to travel anywhere besides to the grocery store. My son is still young, so I wouldn't be able to drag him around the world until he was in his teens. So for now, I will have to stick to paying around $5 for a movie rental to take me around the world.
If life was a movie wouldn't it be grand!
But, the thing with me watching movies are.... I think too much. Not that I think too much while watching the movie, but after. How great would life be if it was a movie... traveling the world, hoping on a flight to some exotic locale, being part of an elaborate con (like in The Brothers Bloom), finding love, and living life. Watching movies is a complete escape for me as long as it's a good movie. And when the credit roll, I realize that I am back to reality.
My reality is that I am a single mother with responsiblities. I have a child that I have to take care of and any wish to travel the world is nearly impossible at the moment. I do want to travel, but know that I will probably not be able to do it any time soon. I still have quite a few years until I am done with my educational goals, which delays any chance to have the funds to travel anywhere besides to the grocery store. My son is still young, so I wouldn't be able to drag him around the world until he was in his teens. So for now, I will have to stick to paying around $5 for a movie rental to take me around the world.
If life was a movie wouldn't it be grand!
Saturday, January 02, 2010
What is life without friends...
Well... I couldn't just leave my blog with only an introduction post. So, I am going to talk a little about friends.
I do have to say I have some of the BEST friends in the whole wide world! (Well, at least, I think so!) Did you know friends come in all different shapes, sizes, and even forms! Forms, you say, Yes! forms. There are best friends, good friends, real-life friends, online friends, friends you only see once in a blue moon, work friends, school friends, new friends, and old friends... and the list goes on and on.
Now part of the reason that I say that I have the BEST friends in the whole wide world is because for the most part and most of them are my 'family'. (Now everyone has messed up families, but mine in some aspects just might take the cake or at least the trophy at the pie eating contest. However, this is a topic for many many blogs and I am focusing on friends here!)
Last night, (well technically the night before), after a whole bottle of Asti and sitting home with a child who fell asleep before midnight, I was getting a little bummed about the whole being single and spending New Year's Eve without a significant other. So, I see that one of my online friends is on.
So, I call him on the phone. He is kinda like me... a straight shooter. He definately is tackful, but will tell it how it is. My conversation with him was definately a good thing. He immediately pointed out how it is to be a single parent. (He himself is a single parent of two boys.) So, we can related on this point and he is great to talk to about advice on raising a boy. He also pointed out all the things that I am doing right. (Just a little background information, he is my online friend from a dating/socializing site.) He pointed out that I am the only person from the site that has goals in life and is working hard towards them. He reminded me to focus on my son and school and not worry about meeting someone and not to settle. I know that I am not relating the conversation exactly how it happened but the point is... that he pointed out stuff that I tend to forget, the good stuff. The stuff that gets lost in the struggle of pursuing goals and dreams, in the frustration of being a single parent, and just plain living life with a rusty spoon in your mouth.
It is always good to have the BEST friends in the world to remind you of what you forget to see.
And I shall sign off for now....
I do have to say I have some of the BEST friends in the whole wide world! (Well, at least, I think so!) Did you know friends come in all different shapes, sizes, and even forms! Forms, you say, Yes! forms. There are best friends, good friends, real-life friends, online friends, friends you only see once in a blue moon, work friends, school friends, new friends, and old friends... and the list goes on and on.
Now part of the reason that I say that I have the BEST friends in the whole wide world is because for the most part and most of them are my 'family'. (Now everyone has messed up families, but mine in some aspects just might take the cake or at least the trophy at the pie eating contest. However, this is a topic for many many blogs and I am focusing on friends here!)
Last night, (well technically the night before), after a whole bottle of Asti and sitting home with a child who fell asleep before midnight, I was getting a little bummed about the whole being single and spending New Year's Eve without a significant other. So, I see that one of my online friends is on.
So, I call him on the phone. He is kinda like me... a straight shooter. He definately is tackful, but will tell it how it is. My conversation with him was definately a good thing. He immediately pointed out how it is to be a single parent. (He himself is a single parent of two boys.) So, we can related on this point and he is great to talk to about advice on raising a boy. He also pointed out all the things that I am doing right. (Just a little background information, he is my online friend from a dating/socializing site.) He pointed out that I am the only person from the site that has goals in life and is working hard towards them. He reminded me to focus on my son and school and not worry about meeting someone and not to settle. I know that I am not relating the conversation exactly how it happened but the point is... that he pointed out stuff that I tend to forget, the good stuff. The stuff that gets lost in the struggle of pursuing goals and dreams, in the frustration of being a single parent, and just plain living life with a rusty spoon in your mouth.
It is always good to have the BEST friends in the world to remind you of what you forget to see.
And I shall sign off for now....
Introduction
I assume for my first post that I should introduce myself and say a little about my purpose to writing a blog.
Introductions first... First and foremost, I am a single mother of a wonderful young school-aged boy. I am a graduate student in a Masters program (and hopefully within the next year or so a doctoral student). My political views range from liberal to conservative, but basically fall somewhere around the middle like most Americans. I like many single mothers am in search for 'love' but am independent enough to be okay without it. I am heading into my 30s but it doesn't scare me. However, mostly, I feel like I have experienced a lot of life, but still have so much more to learn.
As I may have hinted at in describing myself, I hope with this blog to talk not only about myself, but my experiences. I hope to in part some kind of twisted wisdom or insight to those that read this. I have no doubt that my posts will be riddled with typos and grammatical errors. I also know that I may not completely be able to put into words coherently my thoughts, but I will do my best. My posts will range from life, love, and daily nonsense. One day I may post some deep life question that I have been pondering over, another day it might be a topic discussed in one of my graduate classes, the next day it could be my joys or frustrations at being a single parent, or could be one incident in the long saga of my pursuit of love.
All I know is that I hope that my words reach out to someone... And please let me know if they do!
Introductions first... First and foremost, I am a single mother of a wonderful young school-aged boy. I am a graduate student in a Masters program (and hopefully within the next year or so a doctoral student). My political views range from liberal to conservative, but basically fall somewhere around the middle like most Americans. I like many single mothers am in search for 'love' but am independent enough to be okay without it. I am heading into my 30s but it doesn't scare me. However, mostly, I feel like I have experienced a lot of life, but still have so much more to learn.
As I may have hinted at in describing myself, I hope with this blog to talk not only about myself, but my experiences. I hope to in part some kind of twisted wisdom or insight to those that read this. I have no doubt that my posts will be riddled with typos and grammatical errors. I also know that I may not completely be able to put into words coherently my thoughts, but I will do my best. My posts will range from life, love, and daily nonsense. One day I may post some deep life question that I have been pondering over, another day it might be a topic discussed in one of my graduate classes, the next day it could be my joys or frustrations at being a single parent, or could be one incident in the long saga of my pursuit of love.
All I know is that I hope that my words reach out to someone... And please let me know if they do!
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